she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
