Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
