Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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