my vag is so smooth its legendary
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
