I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
