wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
