We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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