Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
