At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
