in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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