As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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