her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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