He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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