Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
