I hope mine doesn't look like that
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she pinky promised me she was 18
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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