Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Randomize
