He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
