The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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