they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
