is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
