Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
