I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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