you guys were way drunker than both of me
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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