So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
