Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
