I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
