Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
