But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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