The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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