I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
