it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
