Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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