i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
