My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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