Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
