I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
