if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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