She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
