Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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