i think my tv is drunk
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Randomize
