I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
