She is in my trunk
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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