Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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