its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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