Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
