Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
