Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Randomize
