Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
