I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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