we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
