We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
